(Journal 151)

  "I never knew this would have happened..."

  Bad news everyone...

  (I started writing this journal 2 months ago...) 

  Apparently a few days ago or 2 days ago...? Ughh I don't remember... It feels like amnesia... 
  I was going to login back to my old YouTube: Dengar999 to check on things and edit them.

  So when I was trying to login, it said it can't login, it can't recognize the device (my laptop computer?) And it needs a verified cellphone number and this Google Plus account bull$***.

  And I'm shocked, very stressed out and depressed to see this right now. I can't believe this would have happened.

  I mean I think I changed my cellphone number a long time ago...?
  And it's very difficult to do these verified login bull$*** and I can't remember if I did the verified thing already a long time ago? It's been a very long time since I don't even remember! 
  "Hey just do the "forgot username and code thing" and it'll be fine."
  Well its not damn easy going through this and that with your Google Plus and email, I already know my login, but my cellphone number was changed a long time ago? And if I tried to get the verified code, it might be send to a stranger's cellphone and the stranger might go to my YouTube. Remember I changed my cellphone number a long time ago.

  Man why do we have to rely on this advance technology bull$*** of Google Plus when some of us YouTubers we don't want to use it. I don't use Google Plus, it's not who I am and it's not my thing, I'm not use to it! And those YouTube updates and changes, I don't even like it!
  F*$%ing technology these days, the internet has everything and its changing for updates and new things that we have to rely on 24/7! We sometimes love, like, dislike and hate the changes, updates and newer things that we have to be use to. The internet has everything for all the information than books and articles in real life. We are relying on technology and the internet way too much!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  
  You know I just hope I don't lose my old YouTube: Dengar999.
  I just hope it doesn't get suspended, banned forever or hacked.

  I made history and these are such good memories when I was a kid to a teenager to growing up on being on YouTube.
  I have 32 videos, 161 subscribers (I lost some subscribers due to moving to Dengar9999 and not making videos on my old channel Dengar999,) 43,821 views in my channel. And I joined YouTube in August 24, 2007.

  I have videos marked with copyright marks, but it was just some, maybe about 5 or 8 videos/times. It's not a lot.
  I don't send in hate comments or rude comments on the comment sections, I a little bit use to, but that was in the past.
  I improve and I am a much better good person. 
  I'm innocent and I did nothing wrong. 
  I just make videos for fun as a hobby.

  There are a lot of people who did a lot worse than me.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  It happens to everybody. Its not only me. I'm not the only one...
  I seen someone lose their YouTube channel, because of the Google Plus account thing that ruins the login. That person has to make a new one.
  People on YouTube lose their login for their channel, because of the Google Plus account thing that ruins the login, people get hacked, suspended or banned.

  Even though YouTube uses bots to track down people videos that has a connection sync to copyright materials.

  We lose things in our personal lives. We lose other things such as something collectible like a video game, CD, DVD, a toy, etc... We lose our friends who become our former friends either they move far away from you, betray or backstab you.

  There are other websites that I quit and left, because I lost interest, I'm tired of it and bored of it, I don't like certain changes or I just quit, or moved on. Such as Habbo Hotel, Runescape, Club Penguin, Roblox, Lego.com, Hot Wheels, Steam, FurAffinity, etc...

  I seen YouTubers quit and still has their videos and their channel on YouTube. They move on for the future in their personal lives and left YouTube. Of letting go... Maybe because of work, college, school, etc...

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  Sooner or later I might probably maybe make a blog out of this in My Blog. Telling more about my YouTube channel Dengar999 and everything about my history on YouTube. Even though I already made my YouTube story and how I got interest in the internet in my 1st blog: Blog 1: How I got to internet and My YouTube Story . Hmm maybe, because already Blog 1 explains my YouTube story and my journey.

  BUT for some good news, well 1 week ago I saved a lot of screenshots of my 2 YouTube channels Dengar999 and Dengar9999 pages, videos and videos date when it was made and views, etc... I saved those screenshots somewhere safe such as my USB just to keep them to remember those good memories in the past and on my private Facebook.
  This is great for backup. To remember those good old past memories to not be erased in case my channels get taken down..

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  I just hope my 2nd current one Dengar9999 doesn't have to do this again with another computer in case my laptop breaks.

  I deleted my email account for Dengar9999 by accident which I didn't knew it was connected to my 2nd YouTube channel.

  Bad News: My 2nd YouTube, Email, Google Plus(Journal 135)
  Bad news everyone.
  To my friends, fans, people who support me. Just looking at the title, I got some bad news.
  So there is my YouTube: Dengar9999
  My Google Plus (which I don't bother to look at it and care about it, I don't use Google Plus at all. I don't like Google Plus.)
  And one of my emails.
  Apparently I did a mistake which was possibly broken. 
  I... apparently... deleted/closed... one... of... my... emails... a very long time ago in one of the years. 2013? 2014? I don't remember maybe because I figure out there wasn't a point on having this email.
  And this email was part of my YouTube Dengar9999. 
  $hit what was I thinking!? Its going to be impossible to get my YouTube Dengar9999 back if someone hacks through it which I have to be real careful!& it feels like this...

  The only thing I do on YouTube is I just watch videos, listen to music, press the like or dislike button for a rating on a video.
  I don't and no longer much make YouTube videos anymore or comment on videos, people, etc...

  I'm more active in deviantART.
  And Nintendo Network, PlayStation Network, FanFiction.net.

  I'm more active on Dengar9999 than Dengar999 on YouTube.
  I just want to let go of this dark past and move on. I never want to hang around it for far too long, but to move on with my life and erase this dark past...

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  
  We all have to make sacrifices and choices in the end...
  
  Even though those good old memories on YouTube on my YouTube channel Dengar999 will be remember and not forgotten on the history I made. They're still in my brain in my memories those good old times, I can write them down which is long and a lot of words to say...
  
  I guess there is no choice but to leave it there forever. For those old memories of the past...

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  I never knew I would become so depressed. It all started in 2014 to 2017... I became much sad, PTSD, scared, OCD, rage, depressed, lazy, unstable, obsession.

  I become more afraid of using the internet, because of problems, issues and errors like these.
  I hate getting into trouble. I'm innocent. I did nothing wrong. 
  
  I hate my music addiction. I keep listening to music 24/7 non-stop on my free time hobbies. I need to stop right now and do my free time hobbies instead, or read some articles how to stop this music addiction, or talk to someone like a family or a relative, etc...

  I hate getting this bad luck around 2014 to 2017. Some problems and issues always happens and I have to solve and deal with these problems on days.
  Computer viruses theory and computer updates theory obsession, mean/rude people who talk behind your back and laugh at you f*#^ing gossiping, dealing with difficult paper works in real life and other stuff as well.

  I lost my mind...
  I just don't feel the same way no more...
  What a downfall it has become...
  What have I become...